Hello there fans and subscribers and generally folks who still haven't kicked themselves off of my email list...
I'm writing you today because I'm offering something new on my website. This time it's not me. It's a great comedian named Barry Crimmins. Last summer I produced and directed Barry's first live standup special. It's called "Whatever Threatens You". It costs the usual 5 dollars, and it's really goddamn great. So please download it here.
Barry is a legend. A great mind, an author and activist and political satirist. He has been an important voice of passion and reason since the 1970s. He has stood before thousands of audiences of every size and type and told them the truth with wit and wisdom, with anger and compassion. Barry was a towering example to me when I started doing standup at age 18. He fostered the comedy scene that I cut my teeth on and later became my friend. More than all of that, I am his fan. I love his voice. He makes me laugh. He's always right. There has NEVER been another comic like him.
The great thing about comedians is that they get better with time. And I feel very lucky to be bringing you Barry's first standup special. I produced it and directed it and he worked incredibly hard over the last two years on the road shaping it and putting it together and he left every ounce of it on the stage when we filmed him. When you watch this special, you'll be seeing a great comic and a prime and only example of what comedy is at it's best. You'll see a comedian who cares about what he is saying and who brings integrity and experience and an unmatched skill as a writer to his performance.
About two years ago, Bob Goldthwait, a good friend of Barry's, produced a documentary about him titled "Call Me Lucky". It covers a whole other part of Barry's life where he made a huge impact.
Barry was a victim of sexual abuse when he was very little. He turned around his personal pain to help others by challenging the power companies of the internet to police child pornography, testifying before Congress and championing victims everywhere by sharing his own story. You should look for this movie on Netflix. It's great and also includes great footage of Barry's early work as a standup.
"Call Me Lucky" was shown at the Sundance Film festival last year and Barry was there to receive a thunderous standing ovation from the audience. He called me that night and we talked for hours about life and about comedy. I told him that I wish more people knew how great he is. I made him a promise that if he went on the road and built a solid hour I would shoot it for him and put it on my site. He took me up on it. I told him he could shoot it anywhere in the country he wanted. He chose Lawrence, Kansas. So we flew the crew into Lawrence and shot this special.
There are a lot of standup specials out there right now. On Netflix, on iTunes, HBO, whatever. But you won't see another like this.
Go here now to download it for 5 dollars. Or keep reading if you want to know more.
I met Barry when I started doing Standup comedy in Boston in 1985. As a kid, I loved standup. And I dreamed of being a comedian. But living in suburban Boston, I never would have found a path to actually being a comedian if it weren't for Barry. Because years before I started, Barry had been creating a standup scene where there wasn't one before. I loved Steve Martin, Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, George Carlin and my new favorite at the time, Steven Wright. What I didn't know is that Steven Wright was from Burlington Mass, a few miles from me, and that he had cut his teeth and found his path to fame in Boston Mass, which was a five minute drive down the Mass Turnpike, which ran noisily behind my house.
I probably would have stayed just a kid with a yearning and grown into a man with no skills and would have had no choice but to rob old ladies to make my living. But one day I was listening to the radio and they said "If you want to be a comedian come down to Stitches Comedy club on Comm Ave for the open mic night. All you have to do is sign up and you get five minutes on stage."
About a month later, I got the courage to go down there and try it. What I discovered was that Boston had a massive, thriving standup scene. There were four full time standup clubs, (Stitches, Play it Again Sams, Nicks, The Comedy Connection) which were packed seven nights a week, and an ever shifting constellation of satellite rooms and one-night gigs, spread all along New England, all populated with Boston Standups. Like Ray Liotta says in Goodfellas, "It was a glorious time, and wise guys were everywhere."
The standard for talent in the Boston Comedy scene was about here: Juliard-level performance skills and Mark Twain-level writing. You could walk into any comedy club in Boston and see any random comedian and the worst of them were polished, original and absolutely killed. And when you were lucky, which was often, because these guys worked like oxen, you could see a comedian that was better than ANYONE you ever saw on TV or anywhere else. Guys like Steve Sweeney, Jimmy Tingle, Don Gavin, Mike Donovan, Teddy Bergeron, Lenny Clarke, Ron Lynch, Joe Yanetty, Kenny Rogerson, DJ Hazard, Mike McDonald.
I'm not even close to covering the list here. And there were new younger comics who were hot and developing under the wings of and in the wake of these giants. Dana Gould, Tom Kenney, Paul Kozlowski, Billy Martin, Rich Ceisler, Frank Santarelli, Fran Salomita, Ed Driscoll, Zito and Bean, Fred Wilson, Tony V, Denis Leary. Every one of these comics and FAR more, too many to list, was working every night in the thriving comedy clubs around the city. Even open mic nights were packed with expectant crowds and populated by solid, new comedians who had a ridiculously high bar to meet, set, not by the famous comedians on TV and in movies, but by the local headliners who they had to follow.
The gravity of all of this pulled me in at age 18 and when I peeked inside the Boston comedy clubs, my jaw dropped at what was there. At how good these guys were and how much opportunity there was for a new young comic.
I came in to the Boston scene along with Marc Maron, Nick Dipaolo, David Cross, Laura Kightlinger, Janine Garafolo, Wendy Leibman, Sam Seider, John Benjamin, Jonathan Groff, Brian Frazier, Amir Gollan. Some of these you've heard of, some you haven't.
I got to know every comedian in Boston and I still know all their jokes by heart. I went to clubs every single night. I was a young annoying kid, and peppered them with questions about how they did what they did. And it wasn't long before I myself was able to make a living doing what I loved and dreamed of, because of the structure created by these guys who welcomed me into their world, taught me and inspired me.
I'm NOTHING without Boston and without those comedians, all of whose names I hope you google after you read this.
There are two names that are vital to this story which I've so far left out. Barry Crimmins and Kevin Meaney. They were two guys from upstate New York who came to Boston and, among other guys, were the ones who made all of this happen. I don't know the whole story, or even most of it, because I was in Junior High when it happened, but Barry, Kevin, a guy named Mike MacDonald, and a bunch of the guys on the top list of this email, started the Boston Comedy scene about eight years before I dropped into it, in a tiny Chinese restaurant in Inman square called the Ding Ho. They did shows there every night and there was always a line around the block. By the time I started, the Ding Ho had closed down, (the owner had gambling debts) but the scene had exploded into what I discovered.
Barry Crimmins was like the godfather of the whole thing. He was an intense, dark man with a full beard and glaring eyes. He was like a bear. Like a genius animal raised in the wilderness, who was educated at Oxford. He smoked cigars and drank beer and growled about Ronald Reagan. I was TERRIFIED of Barry when I was a new young comic. The general sense that was palpable when Barry was at a club, was that all these great comics looked to him. That he set the bar for creativity. There was a standard in Boston. You had to be original. You had to have an idea. You had to be creative. You had to write. That came from Barry Crimmins.
Because without Barry, as great as the comedy was in Boston, it largely followed the character of the city itself. There was a lusty, drunk, bitter energy to every show. A lot of comics would go on stage and tell stories about getting drunk and talk about the local sports teams and about getting laid. All worthy subjects. And the drunk crowds would laugh heartily, often shout back at the stage. There was a dangerous energy to every show and you always had a feeling that if you didn't get laughs, you might get the shit beat out of you after a show. Comedians even fought each other. It was a rowdy scene. But when Barry went on stage, people listened. Every comedian in the room would face the stage and watch him and listen. He was brilliant and compelling and he was "fuckin' Smaht". And he gave a bit of that to everyone else. He was also funny as hell. His jokes were sharp. He had a wicked fast ball, like Dennis Eckersly. He would explain the truth of a global situation and lay the groundwork through a quick education of the human condition and then ignite the atmosphere with a crackling joke. You'd laugh and say "Oh my god." As a new idea would explode in your mind along with the laugh from your body.
Later in life I became good friends with Steven Wright, who is also very close to Barry. Steven told me a lot about the Ding Ho, where he started. He told me how scared he was to be a comedian, at the same time as he wanted to be one. There was so much about it that ran against his personal nature (which is part of why he's great to watch) and how all the comedians at the Ding Ho, including Barry, taught him and encouraged him. My experience starting out was the same and that idea of teaching, mentoring and passing down a creative tradition, was fostered by Barry.
Kevin Meaney is someone you may have heard of. You also may have heard that he died on Friday. He was 60. Kevin was the gravity that pulled me into the scene.
Kevin was the most naturally funny comedian I ever saw. Every word he said was insanely hilarious. He had a funny voice, face and rhythm to his speech. But he had a childish courage that was goddamn inspiring. Whenever Kevin would bomb, and sometimes he would, he would start to sing a song "I don't care! I don't care! My jokes don't go over I don't care! I don't care! I don't care! IIII DOOON'T CAAARE!" I don't care! I don't care!" and he would sing this song, in Ethyl Mirman's voice, for sometimes 30 minutes. The crowd would be FURIOUS. I and any other comedian in the room would be literally on the floor, laughing, crying, gasping for air.
Kevin had a surge of fame right around the time that I met him in the mid 80s. He was given a shot on Letterman and it went so well that Johnny Carson demanded he come on his show and do the exact same set. I remember being at Play it Again Sams. We shut the showroom down and pretty much every comedian in Boston packed into the back bar to watch Kevin on Carson on a tiny TV that hung over the bar. We were so proud of him. Later he was on SNL and had his own show (Uncle Buck), and the whole country fell in love with his standup like I did. So he was also an example of what you could accomplish if you worked as hard as he did and were as wonderfully original and great.
Barry and Kevin were very close friends. They worked at the Ding Ho together. They built and shaped the Boston scene together.
I loved every comedian in Boston. I really did. I still do. But Barry, for me, created the idea that comedy could be great and mean something. And Kevin used to hurt my stomach and he made me believe there was NOTHING you couldn't do on stage if you have the SKILL. He was outrageous and obnoxious stupid and childish and it all worked because he was blindingly good and musical and smooth and perfect and joyful in every show he did.
Where Barry taught us that there was a smart, profound integrity to be mined in comedy - that you could speak truth and be funny. That Standup was an art, that it was a form of literature and political and social insurgence and still be just goddamn funnny and sound like that guy you love listening to at the end of the bar you go to after work.
Kevin taught us that you can reach down into your very babyhood and just be as silly and insane as you want, that you can smash the structure and just talk like your mother and sing Wayne Newton and scream and sing and if you carry that off with confidence and skill, the audience will follow you everywhere.
Another thing I learned from Barry and an element he brings to comedy that is very rare. This is important:
A lot of comedy is a defense. A shield or an arrow shot by a wounded person into a cruel world. A lot of comedy is about not giving a shit. Or trying not to. Or acting like things don't hurt. Or like it doesn't matter that it hurts when it does.
In Barry's very face as he talks you can see that life hurts. And that he's acutely aware of human suffering. Of lies and pain. And that it matters to him. He is angry because he loves human beings. And he gives you all of his feelings in all of his vulnerability even as he survives and laughs and makes us laugh.
So... it was really these two guys, Barry and Kevin, who shaped me as the comedian I am today and who gave me the opportunity to work at it and do it for myself. And I am ETERNALLY grateful to have gotten to call them both my friends. One of them I lost on Friday. The other one, I bring to you here.
I learned that Kevin died when I wrote Barry to ask him for some bio information that I could use to write this email to introduce his special. He wrote me back...
"No easy way to say this but I just received word that Kevin Meaney died, apparently of a heart attack. I will get to this ASAP but I just learned of this five minutes ago and he was one of my dearest, dearest friends and I'm pretty fucked up at the moment."
I was shocked and heartbroken. Yesterday, Barry and I discussed delaying the premiere of his special, which has been scheduled for today for a while. We struggled with what to do. Obviously, we decided to release it on schedule. The deciding factor was that Barry told me that Kevin, who he talked to frequently, was very excited to have this come out. He was excited for Barry and for people to finally see his friend in all his glory.
I'm also not regretful to have this opportunity, though it's messy in timing, to tell you how I feel about my friend and mentor who is gone at the same time I can tell you how I feel about my friend and mentor who lives on and to bring you his work and his voice and his greatness.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Barry Crimmins...
Hello, my dear friend. My dear, dear friend. This is Louis CK. I'm writing to you because I am continuing my live standup tour and today I am adding many cities and dates. So I thought you should know about them in case you want to come and see me live. Included with this delightful email is a list of where I am playing and when. Those cities include:
- Chicago, IL
- Madison, WI
- Newark, NJ
- Albany, NY
- New York, NY
- Pittsburgh, PA
- Philadelphia, PA
- Charleston, SC
- Austin, TX
- Dallas, TX
- Miami, FL
- Washington, DC
- Los Angeles, CA
- Vancouver, BC
- Seattle, WA
- Denver, CO
- Portland, OR
If you want to come see me, please go to LouisCK.net to buy tickets to these shows, full of brand new jokes (Since my last special).
My website is always the best place to go for tickets. As always, I'm keeping the price of my tickets down to an average of 50 dollars, including all charges. I know that's not nothing. But it's less than more than that.
The tour dates being announced today cover until mid January. But I will be touring heavily far beyond that. So if you don't see your town on the list, it is likely that I'm coming to you later in the year. It's NOT because I hate your town. Indeed I go to towns that I hate to work all the time. For instance, I played in Kansas City this summer. And I had a great time there. And boy do I hate Kansas City. I hate Kansas City so much, that I had to go to a doctor to "have that looked at". Luckily, the doctor assured me that I am very healthy and that, indeed, Kansas City is an astonishing dump.
This tour has been great so far. I'm really enjoying it. So I'm going to keep it going for a long time. How long? I don't know.
So that is what is up with that. You can buy tickets here:
Also I would like to urge you to watch Pamela Adlon's new series, Better Things, on FX, every Thursday at 10pm. Pamela is amazing and the show is truly great and funny. Also I wrote some of the episodes.
Otherwise nothing much is going on. I'm enjoying being as good a standup comedian as I can be right now and raising my children to the best of my ability, which makes me feel a little bit sorry for my children. But YOU can rest assured that I'm a far better comedian than I am a father. For two simple reasons. You pay me more than my children do. The other reason is that if you apply experience, dedication, time, creativity, carelessness and care, study, patience and just tough hard work, to standup, you get better at it. If you apply all of that to parenting, you get worse.
Hello, owner and operator of a human spleen…
I am bugging you again and this time it’s to let you know that we are adding shows to the global planetary (except I’m not going to a lot of the planet or globe) TOUR that I am currently… doing.
A lot of shows are selling out quickly so we are adding shows in some of those cities. Including…
- The Bill Graham Civic Auditorium in San Francisco on Friday, July 8th.
- Another 2nd show at the Forum in Los Angeles. This one on Monday, July 11th.
- A third show at MSG in NYC on Thursday, September 15th.
- And another night at Wembley Arena in London has been added for Saturday, August 13th.
We will add more shows and more cities to this part of the tour and please remember that this tour will continue into early next year and more dates and cities will be announced in July. So please don’t write me and say “What about Portland? What about Boston!?” Just give me a chance. I’ll get there.
Also tickets are still on sale at the following places…
- Mashantucket, CT
- Chicago, IL
- Wilkes-Barre, PA
- Reading, PA
- Kansas City, MO
- San Francisco, CA
- Oakland, CA
- Inglewood, CA
- Houston, TX
- Nashville, TN
- Greensboro, NC
- Forest Hills, NY
- Milwaukee, WI
- Minneapolis, MN
- Omaha, NE
- St Louis, MO
- Detroit, MI
- Springfield, MA
- London, ENG
- Dublin, IRE
- Amsterdam, NLD
- Jerusalem, Israel
- Helsinki, FIN
- Copenhagen, DEN
- Paris, France
- Prague, CZE
- New York, NY
ALSO as long as I have your attention, for those of you who missed it, I made a TV show called Horace and Pete and you can see it on my website HERE. There are ten episodes and you can buy them all for 31 dollars or separately. The show stars me, Steve Buscemi, Edie Falco, Alan Alda, Jessica Lange, Aidy Bryant, Laurie Metcalfe and many other amazing performers. You can read a review of it HERE and HERE or just go watch it. Also thank you to those of you who have bought Horace and Pete. It’s been a great success and has almost earned as much as it costs to make, which is a rare feat for any television show. Also please ignore the very very very very very stupid clickbait press that says the show was “cancelled” because we FINISHED it. That was one of the dumbest most wilfully stupid things I ever saw. God Bless America.
Anyway, I hope to see you all out there on the road in America and beyond. I started the tour this last week in Baltimore and Asbury Park. I had a great time at all the shows. This week, Foxwoods.
Oh, I’d also like to mention that, a week from this Saturday, I’m producing a standup special, starring the great Barry Crimmins. He is a deep and sharp and hilarious political satirist and a real comic treasure. We are shooting his special in Lawrence Kansas on June 4th. It will be available on my website soon after. More information on that later.
Okay. Enjoy your day.
with general respect for most of you,
Hello donut eaters and those who don’t eat donuts (I think that covers everyone).
I am very excited to announce the summer and early fall dates of this tour. Please go here to buy tickets.
I’m going to be in many cities around the United States of America and cities in other countries such as London, Paris and Prague. Just to be clear, I will be performing standup comedy shows during this tour. It’s all new material (well, I’ve been working on it for about a year, so if you saw me at a club or something since last May or so, you might be seeing some of the same material, though it has changed drastically over the months) but if you’ve seen me on tour, in a major venue, you won’t have seen these particular words.
That’s right. I am not using any words that I have ever said on stage. It was a very difficult challenge. I had to resort to words like “cotton” and “trunk” and even “Salutation”.
Anyway. It’s new jokes and I think I’m better at comedy right now than I’ve been for a while and I’m going to dedicate the year to just doing great live shows. I’m very ready and excited to come to your town and tell this humor with my mouth in the following cities:
- Baltimore, MD (shows added)
- Asbury Park, NJ
- Mashantucket, CT
- Chicago, IL (shows added)
- Wilkes-Barre, PA
- Reading, PA
- Kansas City, MO
- Oakland, CA
- Inglewood, CA
- Houston, TX
- Nashville, TN
- Greensboro, NC
- Forest Hills, NY
- Milwaukee, WI
- Minneapolis, MN
- Omaha, NE
- St Louis, MO
- Detroit, MI
- Springfield, MA
- London, ENG
- Dublin, IRE
- Paris, France
- Amsterdam, NLD
- Prague, Czech Republic
- Jerusalem, Israel
- Helsinki, FIN
- Copenhagen, DEN
- New York, NY
If you don’t see your city or one close to you on this list, please note that this tour will continue through (at least) December. More cities will be announced for later fall and winter, probably in July.
If you don’t want to come see me live… well… okay. Don’t. Totally. It’s fine.
See you out there.
ps. A word about TICKETS….
Tickets for this tour, as always, are available through my website louisck.net.
Tickets for every seat at every show (with a few exceptions) are one price. Most tickets are $50 or less. There are no ticket fees for any shows. My agent worked hard to accomplish this by negotiating in every city and finding venues that were willing to help us make the shows affordable. In some cases, the venues and I are splitting the ticket charges between us so you don’t have to pay it. In the end it’s worth it to me because I don’t want coming to see me to be a painful choice for anyone and either way I’m making plenty of money on the tour. I sincerely hope that everyone takes advantage of this by simply buying the affordable tickets and coming to the shows. For those of you who plan to take the opportunity of the simple and cheap ticketing on this tour to make a profit at the expense of my fans, please note that we are working hard to prevent scalping and that if you resell your tickets at an unfair price, you are risking having your tickets invalidated. Also if you purchase tickets to my shows from Stubhub or other scalping sites, that ticket may not be valid.
If you buy tickets to one of my shows and you can’t go, or you somehow get stuck with them, please contact us at Lcktix16@gmail.com and we will try to help you get your money back. If you buy tickets from a reseller and they get cancelled, please contact us here because we probably now have that ticket and are going to throw it back on sale at the original price and you could get it that way. In any case, you can always reach out and we will try to help you.
That’s in America. In Europe and Israel I don’t honestly know what we are charging because the ticketing systems there are very different. It’s taken us a few years to build the relationships we have with the venues and ticket companies here in the states so we could pull this off. Over there we are trusting their system to take care of you.
PPS: Just before I sent this out I learned that tickets are already on sale in Israel and Ireland. I heard that the site in Israel crashed and nobody can get tickets. Please be patient as we work on this.
Also, FYI, please note that we added new shows in Baltimore and Chicago.
Hello getter of this message.
I'm writing to tell you that I'm going on tour, doing standup comedy, all over the country and world for the next year (or so) starting next week. In Baltimore.
Today the Spring tour dates go on sale. This coming Monday we will announce and put on sale the dates for summer and some of the fall.
Here are the dates and cities that are on sale now at https://louisck.net/tour-dates:
Lyric Theatre, Baltimore, MD: 5/17/2016
Lyric Theatre, Baltimore, MD: 5/17/2016 *late show
Lyric Theatre, Baltimore, MD: 5/18/2016
Paramount Theatre, Asbury Park, NJ: 5/19/2016
Paramount Theatre, Asbury Park, NJ: 5/20/2016
Foxwoods Grand Theatre, Mashantucket, CT: 5/25/2016
Foxwoods Grand Theatre, Mashantucket, CT: 5/26/2016
Chicago Theatre, Chicago, IL: 5/31/2016
Chicago Theatre, Chicago, IL: 6/1/2016
Chicago Theatre, Chicago, IL: 6/2/2016
Chicago Theatre, Chicago, IL: 6/3/2016
Mohegan Sun Arena, Wilkes Barre, PA: 6/8/2016
Santander Arena, Reading, PA: 6/9/2016
For the rest of you in other cities and in Europe and beyond, look for an email coming next Monday (May 16th).
I've been working on this particular standup material for a long time and I'm excited to bring it to you on all these various stages.
As always when I tour, we are keeping the ticket prices low and eliminating all extra ticketing fees and keeping the tickets away from scalpers as much as possible.
See you out there! (Well, you'll see me if you come to the shows. I'll see you mostly as a general group. Not as individuals)
Hi. So. That was it. I didn’t want to say, in the last email, that it was the last episode. Because I didn’t want you to know, as you watched the episode, that it would be the last one. But yeah, obviously, That was it.
I’m writing you now for two reasons.
Reason one is to tell you that you can now buy the entire season of Horace and Pete with one payment of 31 dollars. This feature also includes “complete my season” so if you have bought some episodes already just log into the site and click the complete season button and you can fill out the rest of the episodes. You can also gift the whole season to someone you think needs to see it.
Go here to buy the complete season of Horace and Pete.
I know that people have wanted to buy the whole season at one time since we started the show. But you see we made the show one episode at a time on a weekly basis as it aired so if I had let you pay ahead of time, and then something happened that would have prevented me from making the whole season, I would have owed a dizzying amount of people a small amount of money each.
Now that I have finished the season, we can offer it to you this way. We don’t offer a discount for buying all episodes, because that isn’t fair to those who bought them one at a time, with no other option at the time.
And I also don't want to penalize people who want to sample one show or more first. It's just simpler to charge the same either way.
The second reason is that I wanted to say it is a singular experience to have done this show and a very very sad thing to be done doing it. I loved telling that/those story(ies). I loved working in that (fake) bar with that crew for those ten weeks. It was a wicked high privilege to act with those actors. I mean holy shit. Those actors. Steve Buscemi, Edie Falco, Alan Alda, Jessica Lange, Aidy Bryant, Laurie Metcalf, Maria Dizzia, my good friends Steven Wright and Nick DiPaolo. Watching the budding talent of new kids like Kurt Metzger. Fly-by encounters with greats like George Wallace, Burt Young, Colin Quinn, Rick Shapiro, Tom Noonan, Reg E. Cathey, Craig muMs Grant. Sitting across from home run hitters like Karen Pittman, Nina Arianda, Amy Sedaris, while all I had to do was twirl my finger in the air like an umpire watching it go over the fence.
And the pleasure and satisfaction of working again with my constant partners for so many years. Blair Breard, who produces the show and everything else that I do. Paul Koestner, the great eye (Director of photography) who gave the show such a lovely and original look. Amy Silver, the production designer, who made Horace and Pete’s real. I don’t know how she did it. I believed every day that that bar was real and had stood in that spot for 100 years.
And the new experience of learning to trust an editor. Gina Samson has been my assistant editor for 5 seasons of Louie. On Horace and Pete I let her take over and show me a new way to look at the things I make and boy did it pay off.
Vernon Chatman, Dino Stamatopolous and Annie Baker, all world-class writers, were there to help me see what was going on as I did my stupid acting.
The camera operators, who were your eyes on a basically live show. They were Todd, Ricardo Nico and Ruben.
Those are the names at my disposal at this moment and the rest will hate me but thanks to Everyone in the booth. The carpenters, the gaffers. John and Wyatt on sound. Chris the on set art guy. The directorial department. Giles and Caspar who made the website easy and cool to use. This was a dedicated crew who really cared about the show being as good as we could make it.
To have had the opportunity to work with Paul Simon and have the tone literally set by his voice, his melody, his words. I hope that I earned that one.
And it was great to share this with all of you in this unique and intimate way. I don’t usually read the emails that I get on my website but I read a lot of yours. Because this show was for you and a lot of you were passionate in what you wrote back about it.
I chose to do the show this way, knowing that it would be a quiet and strange experiment and that only a few of us would take part in this stage of it, that has just ended. The creating, unfolding and watching of the show, one episode at a time, from nothing. I am grateful to all of you that took this trip with me the way that you did, not knowing what you were getting, how much you were getting or how it would all feel. I was right there with you. I didn’t know how any of this would go or feel.
I'm grateful to the TV critics that got out in front and wrote so thoughtfully about the show and the experience. I enjoyed reading it. After we shot the last episode, the cast crew and I put real beer on the taps at Horace and Pete's and we had a drink and we talked. I don’t think we’ll ever experience anything like that show again. I miss all of them.
So now the show is finished. It’s complete. Now I’ll go and tell the world about it, and ask them to come see what we made.
I’m excited because I’ve been dying to talk about it. It was so fun and so goddam weird, what I just went through. And it continues to be so. Sorry ahead of time for how annoying it will be to see me and hear me yammering about this show and promoting it, flying in the face of the whole idea of watching a show from nothing and seeing where it goes. But I want folks to see this show.
Thank you again to those of you who watched with us as we made it. To those of you who haven’t, I can tell you, now that it’s done, it’s a fucking good show. It really is. You can go and google it and read many terrific reviews.
Yes that was me bragging about the reviews.
And you can watch a few stolen clips on youtube. But if you really want to experience this show the way we all have, just start watching it. Take a chance with a few bucks and give it a shot. Buy an episode and see. Or
Take your time watching it. Give it time. It doesn’t really follow any rhythms that you’re used to. So watch that one and wait a week and think about it. Then watch another one.
And once again thank you to the folks who already watched.
Take care. Be well. See you around.
I have nothing clever to say. But I would like you very much to know that episode 10 of Horace and Pete is ready right here.
Enjoy. Be well. Don’t blow a guy named Mel.
Unless… you really like Mel. In which case, it’s totally up to you. And Mel.
See? I told you I had nothing clever to say.
Hi. Thank you for opening this email. Its time for Horace and Pete to now continue with number 9. This week Ann Carr and John Sharian are among our guests.
A lot of shitty things happened in the world this week. Or, I suppose, to be more accurate, the news is full of shitty things. (That sentence had too many commas in it. In fact it still does.)
Shitty things happen all over the world every day. But which ones I'm aware of is a combination of what web sites make I seek out, based on a combination of who I choose to trust and where I get the most potent "hit" of satisfaction or whatever the part of me that I'm feeding craves.
Whenever a terrible thing happens in the world and you go to a news site to read about it, and they have a video of the terrible thing, there's this strange experience when (if) you click on the video, which is that before you watch the awful thing, they show you a little advertisement. Just for that little awful video. Sometimes it's very cheerful.
When the news used to be a single broadcast that you would watch on television, with commercial breaks. There was a sense that these companies bought advertising to pay for the news to be brought to you.
But now with sponsorship of individual moments of suffering, presented to comfortable gawking consumers, it feels like someone died in a far away place (so you don't have to!) and now you get to watch. And it's brought to you by Geico!
The thing that's hard to avoid is that where there is money to be made, money will be made there. When the news is juicy, we buy more Snapple.
The truth is that the news, if you're really paying attention, is complex and boring. I often set a goal for myself that I'm only going to read the news in the news paper and to stay away from Internet news. Because the stuff that goes up on the sites is immediate, brash and badly reported. They just scoop it and slop it and chuck it. The news paper has limited space. And they have until morning to get it to you. So there's more thought put into it. Internet news is heroin. Newspaper news is nutrition. That's MY view. Don't get all mad. I'm just sharing. I'm sure there are other avenues to the truth that are web based. When I walk into the coffee places where they are literally using lab equipment and glass beakers to make the perfect coffee, I get the sense that the young people sitting at the tables are reading blogs and sites that are quiet and thoughtful. My daughter reads a cocktail of blogs on her favorite subjects, knowing they each have a bias, and averages them out to find her truth.
But I'm 48. I actually remember Walter Cronkite reporting that Apollo Soyuz was orbiting and if you live in the north east you could look up and see white and red blinking lights together and that was them. And I ran out into my front yard in Newton Massachusetts and I saw. Wow. Now of course that was probably an airplane and maybe it was Dan Rather. And also I'm a liar.
Anyway I guess the more and more we share the day's news, the more we still have each our own personal way to see it. And to decide what's important. And what you think and feel about it.
I really hope that I didn't irritate anyone with this email.
Please watch episode 9 of Horace and Pete.
Hi. It’s Saturday. Which was named after Saturn, the god the Romans made up to copy Cronos, who was Zeus’ dad. Or if you’re Bengali, today is Shonibar. In Mongolia today is sanchir or санчир. In Luxembourg, it’s Samschdeg.
No matter where you are, it’s time for another episode, or installment, or more minutes of Horace and Pete.
Go here to watch it, or to watch other episodes. As of today, there are 8.
This week Reggie Cathey joined us, as did Lucy Taylor and Colman Domingo. We had some other guests who you’ll recognize from previous… ones.
That’s all I have to say, really. Thanks for watching.
Thank you. And please, please take good care of yourself, and look out a little bit for other people too.
This week's guest stars include:
- Karen Pittman
- Rick Shapiro
- Conor O'Malley
- Craig Mums Grant
- Dov Davidoff
Happy belated/early/On time birthday.
Hello there. Your name is "there" isn't it? Anyway hello. I'm writing, of course, to let you know that Horace and Pete episode 6 is available for streaming and download.
This week begins act two. Our guest star is the terrific Hannah Dunne. I think doing this show is the most fun I've ever had.
I'd like to also thank everyone in the rest of the world for supporting the show. The show is selling well in England, France, Germany, Denmark, Australia, India, Israel and more. I wish I had the resources to create a subtitled version of the show in every language but it's already a challenge to shoot the show and get it up on the site so quickly every week.
Also, as the show is not being advertised and promoted anywhere, please share it with your friends and people you think would like it. Please don't show it to anyone you think would hate it. Although I do believe a show needs to be hated. It's part of the life of any show to have some people who devote energy to ripping it apart. It's healthy. Anyway it continues to be very interesting to watch a show spread and grow strictly on word of mouth. And you are the mouths. I mean your mouths are the mouths that... Make words. So please... Word... About it. The show.
To other mouths. I mean don't talk into people's mouths though.
Okay. I'm going back to bed. My kids don't get here for another hour.
P.S. Please stop it with voting for Trump. It was funny for a little while. But the guy is Hitler. And by that I mean that we are being Germany in the 30s. Do you think they saw the shit coming? Hitler was just some hilarious and refreshing dude with a weird comb over who would say anything at all.
And I'm not advocating for Hillary or Bernie. I like them both but frankly I wish the next president was a conservative only because we had Obama for eight years and we need balance. And not because I particularly enjoy the conservative agenda. I just think the government should reflect the people. And we are about 40 percent conservative and 40 percent liberal. When I was growing up and when I was a younger man, liberals and conservatives were friends with differences. They weren’t enemies. And it always made sense that everyone gets a president they like for a while and then hates the president for a while. But it only works if the conservatives put up a good candidate. A good smart conservative to face the liberal candidate so they can have a good argument and the country can decide which way to go this time.
Trump is not that. He's an insane bigot. He is dangerous.
He already said he would expand libel laws to sue anyone who "writes a negative hit piece" about him. He says "I would open up the libel laws so we can sue them and win lots of money. Not like now. These guys are totally protected." He said that. He has promised to decimate the first amendment. (If you think he’s going to keep the second amendment intact you’re delusional.) And he said that Paul Ryan, speaker of the house will "pay" for criticizing him. So I'm saying this now because if he gets in there we won't be able to criticize him anymore.
Please pick someone else. Like John Kasich. I mean that guy seems okay. I don't like any of them myself but if you're that kind of voter please go for a guy like that. It feels like between him and either democrat we'd have a decent choice. It feels like a healthier choice. We shouldn't have to vote for someone because they're not a shocking cunt billionaire liar.
We should choose based on what direction the country should go.
I get that all these people sound like bullshit soft criminal opportunists. The whole game feels rigged and it's not going anywhere but down anymore. I feel that way sometimes.
And that voting for Trump is a way of saying "fuck it. Fuck them all". I really get it. It's a version of national Suicide. Or it's like a big hit off of a crack pipe. Somehow we can't help it. Or we know that if we vote for Trump our phones will be a reliable source of dopamine for the next four years. I mean I can't wait to read about Trump every day. It's a rush. But you have to know this is not healthy.
If you are a true conservative. Don't vote for Trump. He is not one of you. He is one of him. Everything you have heard him say that you liked, if you look hard enough you will see that he one day said the exact opposite. He is playing you.
In fact, if you do vote for Trump, at least look at him very carefully first. You owe that to the rest of us. Know and understand who he is. Spend one hour on google and just read it all. I don’t mean listen to me or listen to liberals who put him down. Listen to your own people. Listen to John Mccain. Go look at what he just said about Trump. "At a time when our world has never been more complex or more in danger... I want Republican voters to pay close attention to what our party's most respected and knowledgeable leaders and national security experts are saying about Mr. Trump, and to think long and hard about who they want to be our next Commander-in-Chief and leader of the free world.”
When Trump was told what he said, Trump said "Oh, he did? Well, that's not nice," he told CBS News' chief White House correspondent Major Garrett. "He has to be very careful."
When pressed on why, Trump tacked on: "He'll find out.”
(I cut and pasted that from CBS news)
Do you really want a guy to be president who threatens John McCain? Because John McCain cautiously and intelligently asked for people to be thoughtful before voting for him? He didn’t even insult Trump. He just asked you to take a good look. And Trump told him to look out.
Remember that Trump entered this race by saying that McCain is not a war hero. A guy who was shot down, body broken and kept in a POW camp for years. Trump said “I prefer the guys who don’t get caught.” Why did he say that? Not because he meant it or because it was important to say. He said it because he’s a bully and every bully knows that when you enter a new school yard, you go to the toughest most respected guy on the yard and you punch him in the nose. If you are still standing after, you’re the new boss. If Trump is president, he’s not going to change. He’s not going to do anything for you. He’s going to do everything for himself and leave you in the dust.
So please listen to fellow conservatives. But more importantly, listen to Trump. Listen to all of it. Everything he says. If you liked when he said that “torture works” then go look at where he took it back the next day. He’s a fucking liar.
A vote for Trump is so clearly a gut-vote, and again I get it. But add a little brain to it and look the guy up. Because if you vote for him because of how you feel right now, the minute he's president, you're going to regret it. You're going to regret it even more when he gives the job to his son. Because American democracy is broken enough that a guy like that could really fuck things up. That's how Hitler got there. He was voted into power by a fatigued nation and when he got inside, he did all his Hitler things and no one could stop him.
Again, I’m not saying vote democrat or vote for anyone else. If Hilary ends up president it should be because she faced the best person you have and you and I both chose her or him or whoever. Trump is not your best. He’s the worst of all of us. He’s a symptom to a problem that is very real. But don’t vote for your own cancer. You’re better than that.
That's just my view. At least right now. I know I’m not qualified or particularly educated and I'm not right instead of you. I’m an idiot and I'm sure a bunch of you are very annoyed by this. Fucking celebrity with an opinion. I swear this isn’t really a political opinion. You don’t want to know my political opinions. (And I know that I’m only bringing myself trouble with this shit.) Trump has nothing to do with politics or ideology. He has to do with himself. And really I don't mean to insult anyone. Except Trump. I mean to insult him very much. And really I’m not saying he’s evil or a monster. In fact I don’t think Hitler was. The problem with saying that guys like that are monsters is that we don’t see them coming when they turn out to be human, which they all are. Everyone is. Trump is a messed up guy with a hole in his heart that he tries to fill with money and attention. He can never ever have enough of either and he’ll never stop trying. He’s sick. Which makes him really really interesting. And he pulls you towards him which somehow feels good or fascinatingly bad. He’s not a monster. He’s a sad man. But all this makes him horribly dangerous if he becomes president. Give him another TV show. Let him pay to put his name on buildings. But please stop voting for him. And please watch Horace and Pete.
Good morning. Indeed this is my weekly email, notifying you that the new episode of Horace and Pete (5) is ready for download ($3). Go here to watch it! Enjoy.
I know that some of you on this list don't want to get this email every week. And I know that some of you really like getting this email every week. I know this because I get emails from both of you. Some people write me and they say “Hey, you promised not to write me all the time. This is REALLY unfair! This is SPAM!” and some of you write me to say “Hey man. I love getting these emails. And thanks for reminding me about the show this week.” Also, whenever we delay the email for a while, to see if maybe people will come out of habit to watch the show, some do. But not many. And then I send out the email and boom. There’s an explosion of sales on the new episode and even the old ones. And the explosion reverberates though the week. So. I’m gonna keep sending the emails.
You may be asking yourselves, or asking me, though within yourselves, “Why don’t you just let some people opt out of the Horace and Pete email list?” Well, the fact is that I did tell my web guys to create some category options for the email list. And to be fair for them, they did that very thing. And they emailed me a few days ago, showing me those options and asking me to review and approve them. And I haven’t looked at it. Because I’m very busy right now doing lots of things like, for instance, taking my kids to school in the mornings, picking them up later, politely asking the dog not to chew things, building a Trump shelter like everyone else, creating and paying for a whole television series and distributing it to you directly. So yeah, I’m fucking busy. Sorry for cursing.
So for the time being, you’re going to get one of these for every episode of Horace and Pete. If I’m really cluttering up your email box, opt out of the list. And then come back when the series is over. I mean, you could do that. (although I’m going on tour very soon and you might miss out on an announcement on tickets going on sale). You really could just opt out, and leave things how they are for the people who like the emails. In fact, you know what? I’m not making a sub-list for Horace and Pete. I’m not. I have one list. This is it. This show won’t always be on. You know what? Also? I think I've gotten a total of 7 emails from people complaining about these reminders. And the result is that hundreds of thousands of you are getting this vomit of my insecurity this morning.
Okay. Just… If you want to see the next episode, it’s there. It’s number 5.
Oh also, some of you (like 4 of you) have written me to ask that I give you more information about Horace and Pete. You say you want clips to watch and some synopsis of the show, so that you don’t have to unduly risk your 3 dollars. Well. No. I won’t. If you want to try the show, try it. If you don’t, don’t. So far I’m very happy with the amount of you that do. And about 6 of you have asked me to tell you how many episodes are coming, so that you can decide based on that whether you want to get involved in the show, knowing how far you have to go. Again, no. I won’t tell you how many are coming.
By the way, for the 11 emails I’m addressing here, hundreds of you write me every day just to say that you love the show. So why is this happening right now? What is it about how good feelings and positive messages just flow past like water, while the negative gets addressed and dealt with?
Why don’t I write you a happy email, that reflects the overwhelmingly positive response to the show, by thanking you for sharing your positive thoughts? Well, I can only answer by saying that the twelve year old boy who still lives inside of me would say “Because that’s gay”. And I guess I’m not afraid to insult gay people by saying that an adolescent side of me believes they are polite and friendly.
You know what there has been one message of concern I’ve gotten that is worth mentioning. Some people ask why I don’t create a subscription option where you can buy all of the episodes up front at a discount? That’s such a good idea! But I can’t do it. Because I haven’t made all of the shows yet. I make the show every week and then put it up. What if I get you to buy them ahead of time and then I break my head open and can’t make anymore? So sorry. You have to pay for one at a time.
I probably shouldn’t send this email. But I will. I think it’s okay that you see this side of me. Like when I’m with my kids and I catch myself, realizing I’ve been a cranky asshole with them for the last couple of hours. I catch it and inside of myself I think “You’re being a dick. Cool off” but then I think “Well, keep it like this for another ten minutes” and I stay cranky a little longer, even though I have the control now to scale it back. I realize that that example might make me sound like a sociopath. Well, okay. Think what you want.
I think a lot of you reading this email will come to the following conclusion “Boy, for a guy who really wants us to think that he doesn’t give a shit what we think, he sure did just write a long email all about how he really gives a shit what we think.” Which is fair. I’m not a perfectly balanced person. What I like to think is that I am happy if people like me, and I'm okay if they don’t. I just do my best. Anyway, I don’t have twitter anymore. I don’t do a lot of interviews. And I like talking to people. So… okay. I think that’s really more than enough. This is like you had a brunch and everyone left and I stayed and I’m not even your favorite guest and you’re watching me sit in your house and talk until my mouth gets white and dry and you really have to take a shit but you’re waiting for me to shut up and leave. So I will.
Here’s the link again for episode 5. And also I’m going on tour soon. It’s going to be a big long tour of lots of cities.
May god’s light shine on our supreme leader, Master Donald Trump.
Hello and happy Saturday morning. Episode 4 of Horace and Pete is now available for download. It's 3 dollars.
Go here to watch the show.
Hello you folk.
So episode 3 of Horace and Pete is ready for download here for 3 dollars of money.
You may watch it now or later or go back and get 1 or 2 and watch those first.
I really love making Horace and Pete. I want to thank you all for supporting it and for expressing your enjoyment.
This week's episode features the great Laurie Metcalfe.
Enjoy your weekend.
Hi there people and dogs who watch tv.
Horace and Pete episode 2 is available for download.
This episode is $2.
Warning: this show is not a "comedy". I dunno what it is. It can be funny. And also not. Both. I believe that "funny" works best in its natural habitat. Right in the jungle along with "awful", "sad", "confusing" and "nothing".
I just think it's fair this one time to warn you since you have every right to expect a comedy from a comedian. I will not warn you again. Anyway it's 2 dollars this week. Take a shot.
Go to your mothers house if you want to see a smile. No matter who you are, you don't go see her enough.
Have a great weekend.