Well hello. This is Louis CK writing to you again to let you know about new stuff coming on my website. Mostly I would like to tell you that starting tomorrow (Wednesday the 29th) at noon, (New York time) my first movie "Tomorrow Night" will be available for download and streaming for the usual five dollars. As always you can buy it from anywhere in the world with no digital restrictions.
I made this movie, meaning I wrote and directed it, back in 1998. I was a struggling comedian and TV writer at the time and I pulled together my savings and some of my fiends money to make this movie on black and white 16mm film. There are some great people in this movie. Steve Carell, JB Smoove, Wanda Sykes and Conan O'Brien are some that you might have heard of. Robert Smigel, Chuck Sklar, Rick Shapiro, Heather Morgan, Nick Diapolo, Martha Greenhouse, Greg Hahn, Carey Prusa and Joseph Dolphin, you may have heard of a little less but they are all terrific. In fact all these people are comedians and actors I had been working with and around back in the 90s and I wrote all of their parts for them specifically. To me, that's what this movie was for, to create performance opportunities for all my favorite funny people. And to photograph them with prime lenses on Black and White reversal film.
Tomorrow Night is a bizarre little indie film and it gets pretty weird. It was a labor of love for me. It's how I learned to direct and there are some wonderful performances in it. The crew included some folks that still work with me today on my FX series "Louie" including director of Photography Paul Keostner and production designer Amy Silver.
Tomorrow Night screened at the Sundance film festival as well as other festivals from Seattle to Sweden. But it never got distribution. Any black and white movie is tricky to get a market for and this one is particularly strange. But it's funny and it's well worth watching. That's what I think, anyway. It certainly isn't for everyone.
In any case, Tomorrow Night has been sitting in storage in film cans for 15 years. No one has ever seen it. There are no tapes of it or even clips of it anywhere.
This year, I decided to get it out by putting it on my website. I had an excellent digital transfer made from the negative. The sound is the original Mono mix which is fitting for the style of the film. Be prepared to sit through people dialing rotary phones, which takes a while. The pace is sometimes slow and deliberate. Sometimes crazy. But it's exactly the movie I wanted to make and I'm proud of it. I'm putting it on my website with the hopes that I can continue this way of distributing stuff. I'd also like to pay back some of the people who helped me finance the film. I'd also like people to finally see it so that the performances can be awarded with applause and laughter. I'd also like to make a profit from it so I can use the proceeds to make a new movie and release that on my website as well. Wouldn't that be something? Ok, so buy it tomorrow. and tell your friends to do it also. Or don't. It's really only partially up to me what you do with your time and money.
Also, my latest HBO standup special "Louis CK - Oh My God" is available for the same 5 dollar download. You can't get Oh My God on video anywhere else (unless you have HBO and want to watch it there) I put it up a couple of months ago and we had some website traffic issues but we have completely rebuilt the site and it's far, far stronger than before (yes that's 2 fars) so if you tried to downloaded and had trouble, please try again now.
Once again, TOMORROW NIGHT will be available tomorrow at noon (I know that sounds funny) at louisck.com for 5 dollars. You can pay with paypal, amazon payments and odwalla or whatever that other one is. I think Odwalla is the company that makes fruit smoothies.
Thank you for receiving this email. If you hated it, or you hate me, feel free to unsubscribe. Keep in mind that I am personally informed whenever anyone unsubscribes and I cry very hard every time it happens.
Well. Hello. This is Louis CK.
Before I start wasting your time let me just get to the point which is that my latest standup special, Louis CK: Oh My God is available on my website, along with a bonus extra long version, for the usual 5 dollars.
For more details and I have your time horribly wasted, read on...
Hi. So. it has been a while since I last wrote to you.
A lot has changed since my last email to you. Firstly, you'll be glad to know, I lost seven pounds! I know! And all it took was absolutely no dedication or commitment to losing any weight. And it paid off.
Now that I knocked that out of the park, I'm setting my sites on more goals. Such as "none of my habits changing in any particular way". I think if I really buckle down, I can make that happen.
All of this is part of my new approach to life. I call it "believing in myself". Sounds weird, huh? Well it's really very simple. I believe that I exist. And that I'm going to pretty much keep existing and being the pretty much same guy, with the same qualities and skills ive always ha or lacked, especially when averaged over time, no matter what happens.
For instance. I BELIEVE that I'll alway be a little but late for most things. I BELIEVE that if my work habits were 4% worse, I'd be homeless right now. I BELIEVE that I am often sleepy. See? It works!
I'm writing to you today to let you know that "Louis CK: Oh My God" which is my latest standup special, which aired on HBO in the spring and won an Emmy for best writing of a variety special. (I'm not trying to brag. I'm just trying to get you to buy the thing. By bragging.)
"Louis CK Oh My God" is available on my site for 5 dollars, for that, you are entitled to the following:
1. You can download the special, as it aired on HBO "drm free" all over the world as many as 3 times.
2. Or you can stream it 2 times.
3. You can download an audio version of the special.
4. You can download or stream a longer version of the special. This is basically a rough cut with more jokes in it.
All that for 5 dollars. I mean, it's only a lot if you like my comedy. If you don't like me or my jokes, then it's just a 5 dollar nightmare.
The video of this special is only available on my site. So if you want To own your own version, this is the only way to have it. The extended version had only ever been seen here. So ... That too.
As always I'd like to urge you not to steal or share this video so that I can continue to offer stuff on my site in this friendly and cheap way without losing my ass in the process. I don't want to lose my ass. I have a great, great ass.
So that's mostly it. Please go to louisck.net to buy oh my god and for more information. Oh, also, we now accept Paypal, amazon payments and Dwolla.
Okay. That's it. Please enjoy your life. And please be always curious about other people.
Hello. Just a fair warning that the below announcement is unnecicarily long, mis-spelled and the crucial information, regarding tickets to my shows in London, stockholm and Oslo, is way down toward the bottom. But its easier to write this disclaimer than to edit the whole thing. Even this disclaimer is too long. Oh well. Here begins the actual announcement...
I hope that, as you are reading this, you are well in health and spirit. I hope that you are having fine luck and that you feel positive and joyful about your life.
Of course I suppose that not all of you that are reading this are feeling well, lucky or happy.
Seeing as my email goes out to about a quarter of a million people, the odds that all of them are having a terrific day are very low. I would say at least thirty two thousand four hundred and sixty two of you are just having the worst day ever.
The kind of day where, when someone smiles at you, you really want to punch them right in their stupid mouth. And here now youre getting an annoying email from that comedian you used to like, but enough already with that guy anyway.
Well, in any case.... Hello. To all of you.
Im writing for a reason which will mean nothing to any of you who don't live in the British Isles or Scandanavia.
Im writing to let you know that im coming to London on march 20th and march 21st to do some live shows. Im playing the O2 arena on Wednesday, the 20th of March and the Hammersmith Apollo on Thursday the 21st of March. Tickets for these shows are available right now on louisck.net.
I'll be performing in Oslo, Norway at the Oslo Spektrum on Friday, the 22nd of March. Tickets to that show are available at 11:00 Oslo time also on louisck.net
I'm also coming to Stockholm, Sweden on the 23rd of March where I will be at the Globe Arena. Tickets to that show are available also on louisck.net but not till 12:00 NOON Stockholm time (2 hours from when this is posted).
-The reason for this staggered release of tickets, as you probably know, is a very strict Swedish law that requires all things that happen in Sweden to happen 2 hours after the same thing happens in London and 1 hour after it happens in Norway. So sorry if this is awkward. It's really out of my hands.
Lastly (jesus you must hate me by now) i would like to mention that my FX series LOUIE will be airing in England and other parts of the UK. The FOX network, Tuesdays at 9pm.
For those of you who are not in the region of the world that is addressed above, i am really really very kind of barely not at all sorry for wasting your time. But i wish you all well. Isn't that nice of me?
I just wanted to let you know that I am adding a bunch of cities and shows to my tour this year, to extend it into february, at which time ill be shooting my new standup special for HBO. The new cities on the tour are: Philadelphia, Newark, Nashville, Pittsburgh, Atlanta, and Phoenix. As before you can only buy tickets for these shows on my website. So please go over there and get tickets. The tour ends in Phoenix where I will shoot 4 shows over 2 nights for the hbo special. We have added 2 shows in Phoenix on saturday the 16th.
Ok so that's it. Ill see you all on the road.
pretty much sincerely,
Phoenix ticket holders- we have some news. We are postponing the December 22nd shows until February 15th-. These shows will all be filmed for my upcoming HBO special. I have chosen the Celebrity Theater in Phoenix for this big event and am excited to perform for you in February. All 12/22 tickets will be honored on Feb 15- you do NOT have to print out a new ticket. Just show up with a ticket that says December 22nd and it will get you in on Feb. 15th and ONLY on Feb. 15th. The ticket will only be good for the showtime that you already bought (early show is for early show, late show is for late show). Please contact email@example.com with any questions…See you in February.
Dear New York ticket holding folks....
Okay. I thought about this very carefully and I really started to worry about making 4300 people come into midtown manhattan on Sunday night, which is just when the stormatron 5000 is supposed to crush our empire. new york state has ordered the sutdown of all mass transit (subways, buses and commuter trains) as of 7pm Sunday night.
I know that a lot of people are excited to come and they are fine with taking the chance but I really don't want a pole to smash your face in because you saw some comedy.
So i asked the City Center (where the shows are supposed to happen) if we could find another date for Sunday's shows and they gave me March 2nd. The City Center, being really cool, has agreed to let us do the shows on that night and your tickets that you now hold will be honored on that night. the same seat, same everything. If you can't come on that night, we will either do another show soon after that, or find another show for you in the area in the future. Or you still have the option to get a full refund for your ticket. If you already asked for a refund, we can reinstate your ticket if you want to go to one of those shows.
Listen. I know that probably it's going to be a starry clear night and the trains are going to be just gliding up and down the traks and a baby zebra is going to whinny as he trots by the City Center on a night that is going to break records for being placid and perfect for a night of comedy. And I'm going to feel like an asshole. And I know that some people had their plans set and are going to be pissed off at me. I know. but I also know that some of you are struggling with whether to come in or miss the show and this is the closest I can get to a solution. You don't have to take a chance and you don't have to miss the show. Just come see me in a few months.
If it's any consolation, I'm eating a pretty staggering fee for cancelling the show. But I can take it. What I can't take is the thought that there's a CHANCE 4300 people will be in danger trying to get home from my stupid show.
Please email firstname.lastname@example.org and tell us what you want to do, and ask any question you have.
So that's that. Cancelled. Rescheduled. Please forgive me. Please be safe.
Your dumb friend
UPDATE: It's been really great hosting Tig's show on my site as a prerelease.
And now she's going to make her show widely available through iTunes and other outlets.
If you already bought it here, it's still available to you for any downloads remaining on your account. Otherwise, go to iTunes.
Go, Tig. Live.
Greetings to the people and parts of people that are reading this. Hi. This is Louis. I'm a comedian and you bought a thing from me. Well, I'm writing to tell You that there is a new thing you can buy on my website louisck.com. It's an audio standup set by not me but another comedian named Tig Notaro. Why am I selling someone else's comedy on my website?
Well, Tig is a friend of mine and she is very funny. I love her voice on stage. One night I was performing at a club in LA called Largo. Tig was there. She was about to go on stage. I hadn't seen Tig in about a year and I said how are you? She replied "well I found out today that I have cancer in both breasts and that it has likely spread to my lymph nodes. My doctor says it looks real bad. ". She wasn't kidding. I said "uh. Jesus. Tig. Well. Do you... Have your family... Helping?". She said "well my mom was with me but a few weeks ago she fell down, hit her head and she died". She still wasn't kidding.
Now, I'm pretty stupid to begin with, and I sure didn't know what to say now. I opened my mouth and this came out. "jeez, Tig. I. Really value you. Highly.". She said "I value you highly too, Louie.". Then she held up a wad of note-paper in her hand and said "I'm gonna talk about all of it on stage now. It's probably going to be a mess". I said "wow". And with that, she went on stage.
I stood in the wings behind a leg of curtain, about 8 feet from her, and watched her tell a stunned audience "hi. I have cancer. Just found out today. I'm going to die soon". What followed was one of the greatest standup performances I ever saw. I can't really describe it but I was crying and laughing and listening like never in my life. Here was this small woman standing alone against death and simply reporting where her mind had been and what had happened and employing her gorgeously acute standup voice to her own death.
The show was an amazing example of what comedy can be. A way to visit your worst fears and laugh at them. Tig took us to a scary place and made us laugh there. Not by distracting us from the terror but by looking right at it and just turning to us and saying "wow. Right?". She proved that everything is funny. And has to be. And she could only do this by giving us her own death as an example. So generous.
After her set, I asked Mark Flanagan, the owner of Largo (great club, by the way) if he recorded the set. Largo is set up for excellent recordings. He said that he did.
A few days later, I wrote Tig and asked her if I could release this set on my site. I wanted people to hear what I saw. What we all saw that night. She agreed. The show is on sale for the same 5 dollars I charge for my stuff. I'm only keeping 1. She gets the other 4. Tig has decided to give some of that to cancer research.
Tig, by the way, has since undergone a double mastectomy. She is doing well. Her doctors say her chances of survival are excellent. So she went there and came back. Her report from the frontlines of life and death are here for you to... Enjoy.
Please go buy her show. You can buy it HERE.
Thank you. Have a terrific afternoon.
hello folks! I'm going on tour this year from October through Feb. I'll be all over the goddamn place. This year, I'm trying something new, building on the fun, success and fan-benefit of selling my content online. We are selling tickets to this tour exclusively here on louisck.com. I only wanted to do this if there was a way, like with LIVE AT THE BEACON, that it could bring the price of tickets down and make them easier and less complicated to buy. We figured out a way.
Making my shows affordable has always been my goal but two things have always worked against that. High ticket charges and ticket re-sellers marking up the prices. Some ticketing services charge more than 40% over the ticket price and, ironically, the lower I've made my ticket prices, the more scalpers have bought them up, so the more fans have paid for a lot of my tickets.
By selling the tickets exclusively on my site, I've cut the ticket charges way down and absorbed them into the ticket price. To buy a ticket, you join NOTHING. Just use your credit card and buy the damn thing. opt in to the email list if you want, and you'll only get emails from me.
Also, you'll see that if you try to sell the ticket anywhere for anything above the original price, we have the right to cancel your ticket (and refund your money). this is something I intend to enforce. There are some other rules you may find annoying but they are meant to prevent someone who has no intention of seeing the show from buying the ticket and just flipping it for twice the price from a thousand miles away.
Some of these rules may be a pain in your ass, but please be patient. My goal here is that people coming to see my shows are able to pay a fair price and that they be paying just for a ticket. Not also paying an exorbitant fee for the privilege of buying a ticket.
Tickets across the board, everywhere, are 45 dollars. That's what you'll actually pay. In every case, that will be less than anyone has actually paid to see me (after ticket charges) in about two years and in most cases it's about half of what you paid last year.
The benifit for me is that I won't get angry emails from anyone who paid a ton of money to see me due to circumstances out of my control. That makes me VERY happy. The 45 dollars also includes sales tax, which I'm paying for you. So I'm making more or less depending on the state.
Another benefit to me is also one to you. I get your email address (if you opt in) when you opt in. You don't have to join ANYTHING to buy these tickets and if you opt in, youll only hear from me once in an old man's jizz-cycle.
Obviously none of this means anything if the shows aren't good. So that's up to me. As I do every year, I'll be performing a brand new hour (or more) on all of these shows.
Lastly, it was a real challenge to find venues around the country that could work with our exclusive ticketing service under these parameters. It means I'm playing in very new places. I really appreciate all of these theaters that are letting us give this a try.
Setting up this tour has been fascinating and difficult. this ticketing service is a brand new thing and I really fucking hope it works and that there aren't any problems. If anything comes up, please be patient.
Doing things this way means I"m making less than I would have made if I did a standard tour, using the usual very excellent but expensive ticketing service. In some cities I've had to play smaller venues and do more shows. But I like doing more shows and about a year ago I reached a place where I realized I am making enough money doing comedy so the next thing that interested me is bringing your price down. Either way, I still make a whole lot more than my grandfather who taught math and raised chickens in Michigan.
alright, that's it, folks. I'll be sending this message out to folks on the opt-in list and sending a separate email that lays it out much more simply with the proper links. I am doing this because when I emailed you about LIVE AT CARNEGIE HALL, (which is still on sale for 5 dollars!) about half of the people who got the email really enjoyed the long, verbose, unedited message. The other half HATED it and would have preferred a price, a link, and me shutting the fuck up.
This way, you can read this if you like, or your can just see the massive shit-ball of text and throw it in the garbage, and focus on the simple email.
I hope to see you all on the road.
Hello there. I am Louis C.K. for now. You are a person who opted into my email list, when you bought my Live at the Beacon standup special. As I promised, I have left you alone for a long time. Well, those days are over. I am writing now to let you know that I am offering some more stuff on my site, which you are more than welcome to buy. What does "More than welcome" mean? Well, it means you can totally buy this stuff. Like, totally.
Okay so there are two new products. They are both audio comedy specials. One is called...
Louis CK: WORD - Live at Carnegie Hall
This is about an hour long and it's a recording of a live standup show that I did at Carnegie Hall in November of 2010 as part of a national tour I was on entitled, "WORD." I've had a lot of requests from people to release that show as a special or as a CD. I hadn't done so because a lot of the material that I did on the WORD tour was in the second season of my show "LOUIE" on FX. But I decided since it's never been released as an entire show, and some of the material was not on my show, I'm releasing this now. I'm giving you this long and boring explaination because, as most of you know, I release about an hour or more of new standup material every year and folks can count on seeing a new show every year. This is old material, so I don't want to be a dick and pretend it isn't.
Anyway, Louis CK: WORD - Live at Carnegie hall is available for the same 5 dollars as everything will be. It is the same deal as before that you get 4 downloads and the file is DRM free. You can burn it onto a CD, play it on your ipod, whatever you want. The special is broken up into separate tracks because I think that's more fun for a comedy album, but they are all just one thing you buy all at one time.
The second new thing is even older, actually. It's an audio release of "Shameless", my very first hour long standup special that I did for HBO. It was never released as an audio CD, so I asked HBO to let me offer it on this site and they agreed. They also agreed to let me offer it, the same as the rest, DRM free, for 5 dollars. Obviously I'll be sharing the Shameless money with HBO but I think it's pretty cool that they're letting this be out there unprotected like this. Shameless is also 5 dollars, DRM free, and you can download it a bunch of times for the price.
Lastly, I'm offering Live at the Beacon Theater as an audio version, for those many of you who have asked for it. This is just exactly an audio version of the video special. Those of you who have already bought Live at the Beacon theater already own this. If you login with your password, it is now live and available for you to download at no extra cost. Those of you who now buy LIve at the Beacon Theater for 5 dollars, will also have the audio version availbable to you. It's simply been added to the video downloads and streams you already were getting.
Later, I am going to make a version of Live at the Beacon Theater, that is a separate audio special, which will be much longer. That will cost money. Because I'm an asshole. But that's later.
Also later, actually soon, I'll be putting my first feature film "Tomorrow Night' up for sale on the site. And also other things. Soon. For now.
You may have noticed that Louis CK LIve at the Beacon Theater is airing on the FX network. FX agreed to air it 10 times over the next few months. The version on FX is only 42 minutes long and we had to take out the fucks. The reason I chose to air the special on FX is that FX is my people. They gave me my show LOUIE (season 3 premieres on June 28th at 10:30pm) and they have never aired a standup special. So I thought it would be cool to let them air it and bring more people to the site who want to get the complete unexpurgated version. Also FX doesn't make me cut things for content. Just the big words (fuck, etc)
Okay. that was exhausting. Sorry. I didn't even ask you how you are. How are you? Oh yeah? Oh good. That's great. What? Oh man. That's tough. I'm sorry... Oh well that sounds like you handled it well, though. So. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I know that's... yeah. Well... Just remember, time will go by and that'll just be on the list of shit that happened to you. You'll be okay. Yeah. Huh?... Oh. Really? HE DID? Oh my GOD! hahaha!! That's CRAZY! No. No. I won't tell him you told me. Of course not. Alright well... uhuh? Oh wow. Yeah. Alright well... I really gotta go.
Thanks for listening. I'm glad you're basically okay. Stay in touch.
hi. So it's been about 12 days since the thing started and yesterday we hit the crazy number. One million dollars. That's a lot of money. Really too much money. I've never had a million dollars all of a sudden. and since we're all sharing this experience and since it's really your money, I wanted to let you know what I'm doing with it. People are paying attention to what's going on with this thing. So I guess I want to set an example of what you can do if you all of a sudden have a million dollars that people just gave to you directly because you told jokes.
So I'm breaking the million into four pieces.
the first 250k is going to pay back what the special cost to produce and the website to build.
The second 250k is going back to my staff and the people who work for me on the special and on my show. I'm giving them a big fat bonus.
The third 280k is going to a few different charities. They are listed below in case you'd like to donate to them also. Some of these i learned about through friends, some were reccomended through twitter.
That leaves me with 220k for myself. Some of that will pay my rent and will care for my childen. The rest I will do terrible, horrible things with and none of that is any of your business. In any case, to me, 220k is enough out of a million.
I never viewed money as being "my money" I always saw it as "The money" It's a resource. if it pools up around me then it needs to be flushed back out into the system.
The thing is still on sale. I hope folks keep buying it. If I make another million, I'll give more of it away. I'll let you know when that happens because I like you getting to know what happened to your 5 dollars and bringing awareness to the bla bla bla.
Okay I really gotta go now. Thank you again. I will now stop bugging you. I really hate being in the news this much so I'm gonna just disappear for a while.